How to be honest

A friend of mine shared an email he had written to his place of work to explain how he is struggling with mental health problems. You can read it here  – A Personal Message to Friends and colleagues.

It is great, open and honest and something, I think we should all be doing – being open 800px_colourbox9264852about our mental health issues. I do have a few Facebook friends that are totally open about what they are going through too. But what I have noticed with my friend’s post and with my FB friends is that they have all been diagnosed with a something. I think this helps. With my friend in his post too he works in an office environment so can take time working from home, etc. But what about all of us who have not been diagnosed either because of not having gone to a doctor, not found a professional who sees the problems and who can’t take time out.

This isn’t a gripe and a “poor me” but I do think it is harder. I work from home and some of what I do I have to keep going with – like the Airbnb stuff to keep the house clean and have beds made up for guests. This does give me freedom from not having to work 9-5 too so it is swings and roundabouts. But I do find it harder, when I can hide away at home and then put on my brave face when I go out, to be able to be open and honest about how I feel. And I’m sure I’m not the only one. There are also people who work in core-value-open-and-honestenvironments that may not understand or be sympathetic. A friend of ours with borderline personality disorder who worked in sales was given sympathy but still expected to meet his targets in high-pressure selling.

So how can those of us without a diagnosis, who have stepped out of the normal working situations or who are not in a sympathetic work environment deal with this? At the moment I don’t know but I know that I am trying harder to be honest about my mental health even if it is to have lower expectations of myself in what I can and can’t do, to be honest about how I am struggling to cope with all the changes that have gone on in the last two to three years – us moving, changes in my children’s lifestyles, all the new people we have met and new things we are doing. So when I have a meltdown because my husband has taken longer than I wanted over doing some household job or other I can say calmly, once I’ve regained my thoughts, “it’s not you but just this on top of me still coping with the changes”.

I’ve a project I’m doing that I know I should not have taken on. I need to finish the project. I need to finish it because it is the right thing to do. Yes, I work on that “right thing” but I am now downscaling what I’m doing with it, realising that I can’t get the help I expected due to other people’s commitments, and that actually I don’t have the emotional energy to get it sorted. So I will finish it but I will be kind to myself and again realise that little things like the household jobs taking longer could cause me stress but it isn’t them it’s just life.

So what I have decided is even if I can’t be open and honest to others as my friend has been in his post I can be open and honest to myself, kind to myself and say that even though I don’t need pills and therapy I do need space and time. walk-away-in-love

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Nuclear End!

We were chatting yesterday about North Korea and nuclear war. I didn’t mean to sound explosion nuclear bomb in oceanflippant but my comment was “what I can I do about it?”

Back in the last 1950s CND was founded, people went on protest marches and worried about whether they should have children or not because the world would end soon. In the 1980s I was part of CND, protested at Greenham Common, did awareness campaigns in my local town, and worried that the would would end soon. I’m not sure if there are protests going on now. I know there are a few petitions going about, but the news is still telling us to worry that the world will end – possible soon. My comment is “what should I do about it?”

Well I went off and had a think and I know what I’m going to do. It sounds selfish and uncaring but it isn’t. I am not going to get involved in politics now. Not because I’m too old but because I know I’m not focused enough. I also don’t think its my “calling.” What

kurt-vonnegut
http://www.republicofyoublog.com/quotes/the-world-is-a-beautiful-place/

I’m going to do is be the best ME that I can be. I shall be kind and supportive to my guest that stay here, to the people I meet dog walking, to the people I come across in my workshops and in my work at the castle. I shall be there for my children and my husband. I’ll walk my dog, enjoy life – not in a “who cares” sort of way but in a “hey there are so many good things in this world why don’t you take a look at them too!

I did jokingly say yesterday that I’d like to give Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump andc1cdcc8c42465974df47f2172d73b96c-cool-quotes-awesome-quotes others that seem so insecure and yet have bits of the world they’ve been given dominion over a big hug, a kind word and let them know that they don’t need to stress so much. Again sounds trite but I do wonder if instead of running people down we lifted them up then the world would be a kinder place. So I can’t touch world leaders but I can touch those who I’ve been given the privilege to be in touch.

And my challenge is – why don’t we all go do the same thing – without fear or expecting anything back – and see what happens